kung fu trump by philip loyd

Kung Fu Trump

by Roberto Dinero… Hi. My name is Roberto Dinero, and I’m from the LA. East LA. The mean streets, where it all goes down. Shit. Okay, so you know who I really am. What gave it away? But that’s not the point. Everybody has the right to use a pseudonym. If Martin Lieber gets to…

They Call Me Professor by Philip Loyd

They Call Me Professor

by Scholarly Philly… “Get out your Sunday best,” said my wife.  “He’s coming!  He’s really coming!” Who?  Who’s coming, I thought? But I dare not ask. When my wife gets excited like this, the best thing to do is just stay out of her way.  Yes, I was a henpecked husband just like out of…

Illegalz

by Felipe Philly… The year was 2075 and the problem with illegals was only getting worse.  Illegals taking jobs; illegals committing crimes; illegals sucking up government resources and contributing nothing to society.  The year was 2075 and the country had had enough.  The crackdown was on. There was a great wall in the country.  It…

O.B.E. by Philip Loyd

O.B.E.

by Out-of-body Philly… “My name is John Fielder Smith.  That’s not my real name.  My real name is Go Fuck Yourself.  But for our purposes here you can just call me Johnny Boy.  I was first told the story of O.B.E. by an ex-DEA agent who went by the name of Peter North.  That’s not…

#metoo

Me Too

by Pussy-whipped Philly…     . “I’m proud to say: I am now officially a member of the Me Too movement. I know I’m a man, but men can be members too. It’s not gender that determines eligibility, it’s understanding.” Me Too! is the latest in the Flashbytes series from worst-selling author Philip Loyd. Not…

Apolitics Now

by Pachydermy Philly… “Billingham Bokstock was born with an elephant’s head. A real, live elephant’s head. Not only was he the first ever trunk-swinging, tusk-bearing, floppy-eared candidate to run for president of the United States, he was twelve feet tall. The first time he walked into a press conference, his head went crashing into the…

Then She Took the Call by Philip Loyd

Then, She Took the Call

by Fed-up Philly… I used to be a jackal. That is to say, I once was a reporter. A journalist. A scavenger of the lowest kind. You know, like in the movie Nightcrawler. I’m all better now, thank God. Lucky for me, I woke up just in the nick of time. Read the whole feeding-frenzy…

My Time Spent in the Mob by Philip Loyd

My Time Spent in the Mob

by Connectedly Philly… I was in the Park when I heard the news about Wags Wagglestein, my attorney.  Next thing I knew I was headed downtown.  It had been a long time since I had been down to Mulberry Street, and suddenly I was feeling nostalgic. Read the whole spaghetti-eating story…   My Time Spent…