Well everybody, it finally happened: We’re in! We finally got published in The Satirist. God help ’em. What they want to do with the likes of us, I’ll never know. But it’s up and LIVE, the satiric piece #MeToo!!!, by your humble narrator. Let’s just hope they fare better than those poor schlubs over at…

by Serengeti Philly… The events in this story are true. I have written them down here almost verbatim, just as my good friend Zeudi Araya explained them to me. Whether you believe that a real-life, American hippopotamus could be found rampaging through the terminal at New York’s JFK Airport or not—or that there even is…

by Born Again Philly… I’ll never forget how I came to find Jesus, and just how close I came to meeting my maker. The year was 1974 and I was living in Salt Lake City, right smack dab in the middle of Mormon country. I was a wanna-be Buddhist who had come for the George…

by Front Row Philly… It was the old gang together again. What was left of it, at least. It was Graham Kraker, Ted Danson and me. I was going to have to make this trip without my attorney, always a dicey affair. And who is Rockin’ Rodney? That’s the question we find ourselves still asking,…

by Sinophobia Philly… “You know who’s to blame for global warming, right?” said my friend Nathan Niederhoffer. I had a pretty good idea who he had in mind. “The Chinese.” Bingo. Nathan works in the insurance game. He’s a front man for the Pillars of Hercules Life Insurance Company, otherwise known as: The Herc. Read…

by Formerly Philly… This is the story of Ricky Rude. Or maybe it’s the story of Benyomen Fishenshitz. Either way, it all starts with Ricky. You see, Ricky was this six-year old I knew way back in Kindergarten. Ricky was one of those kids who had a nickname for everyone. He was the kind of…

by Smiling Philly… All I remember is that the sign above the door said MASSAGE—plain as day—and boy was I ever in need of one. I had a crick in my neck so bad, my head felt like it was screwed on sideways. So I plopped down my $200 (a little pricey for a massage,…

by Crying in His Beer Philly…  I first saw him sitting there at the bar all alone. He was handsome: clean cut, sporting a turtle neck and blazer, looking very much like the all-American boy. I would soon find out that wasn’t the case at all. The year was 1978. Happy Days was the top-rated…

by Freaky Philly… I went down to the bank the other day to cash my paycheck and what I found was as hysterical as it was bizarre. I didn’t know the bank had suddenly turned into Comedy Central. I first noticed something wrong when I approached the teller. She was laughing her head off when…

by Stage-4 Philly… My dad died from cancer.  My two uncles died from cancer.  My granddad, too.  So you can imagine my annoyance when I started feeling tired all the time, then coughing and wheezing and spitting up blood.  No, sir.  I wasn’t getting cancer, too. Not me. In fact, it was right then and…