by Smiling Philly… All I remember is that the sign above the door said MASSAGE—plain as day—and boy was I ever in need of one. I had a crick in my neck so bad, my head felt like it was screwed on sideways. So I plopped down my $200 (a little pricey for a massage,…
by Freaky Philly… I went down to the bank the other day to cash my paycheck and what I found was as hysterical as it was bizarre. I didn’t know the bank had suddenly turned into Comedy Central. I first noticed something wrong when I approached the teller. She was laughing her head off when…
by Stage-4 Philly… My dad died from cancer. My two uncles died from cancer. My granddad, too. So you can imagine my annoyance when I started feeling tired all the time, then coughing and wheezing and spitting up blood. No, sir. I wasn’t getting cancer, too. Not me. In fact, it was right then and…
by House-flipping Philly… I always wanted to be with a blonde. A TRUE blonde, not some brunette on summer vacation. I dated a blonde back when I was in high school. She was modest, so we used to do it in the dark. Eventually, we got to the point where she’d let me light a…
by Roberto Dinero… Hi. My name is Roberto Dinero, and I’m from the LA. East LA. The mean streets, where it all goes down. Shit. Okay, so you know who I really am. What gave it away? But that’s not the point. Everybody has the right to use a pseudonym. If Martin Lieber gets to…
by Scholarly Philly… “Get out your Sunday best,” said my wife. “He’s coming! He’s really coming!” Who? Who’s coming, I thought? But I dare not ask. When my wife gets excited like this, the best thing to do is just stay out of her way. Yes, I was a henpecked husband just like out of…
by Felipe Philly… The year was 2075 and the problem with illegals was only getting worse. Illegals taking jobs; illegals committing crimes; illegals sucking up government resources and contributing nothing to society. The year was 2075 and the country had had enough. The crackdown was on. There was a great wall in the country. It…
