Searching for Where the Carpet Matches the Drapes

by House-flipping Philly…

I always wanted to be with a blonde. A TRUE blonde, not some brunette on summer vacation.

I dated a blonde back when I was in high school. She was modest, so we used to do it in the dark. Eventually, we got to the point where she’d let me light a candle. When I finally came face to face with her love muffin, that’s when I realized: she wasn’t a true blonde at all, but just another tourist.

Read the whole sun-bleached story at


Searching for Where the Carpet Meets the Drapes is the latest in the Flashbytes series from worst-selling author Philip Loyd. He got the idea from way too many failed searches on\



About the Author
Philip Loyd loves fat chicks and cheap beer, though not necessarily in that order. Loyd has worked for Forbes and McGraw Hill, each time running for his life as if waking up from a nightmare. He dreams of one day moving to Hollywood and winning a Razzie. Loyd lives in Dumbass, Texas.



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