Apolitics Now

“Suddenly I find my hand around her neck and it’s all I can do to contain myself. Then I stop, somehow, and I think, this woman has no idea how close she just came to being strangled to death. If I’m being honest, I know the only thing stopping me is my nosy neighbor, Mrs. Alvarez, and how she somehow knows everything that’s going on in the building. Getting rid of this girl’s dead body after I BTK her is going to be next to impossible, what with Mrs. Alvarez constantly lurking around. Sometimes I think the only thing stopping me from serial killing these days is that nosy old woman next door.”

Imagine Charlie Manson, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffery Dahmer, and Ed Gein in recovery from serial killing and going to twelve-step meetings together. What a scene that would be.

Serial Killers Anonymous is the latest in the Flashbytes series from worst-selling author Philip Loyd.

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What are Flashbytes? Catering to today’s ADD masses, Flashbytes are complete stories in 5 minutes or less.

Flashbytes are perfect for those brief outbreaks of mental awareness. Read Flashbytes while you’re waiting at the doctor’s office, the DMV, even dropping a deuce. After all, most songs last 5 minutes or less; why not feed your head, instead?

FLASHBYTES: FEED YOUR HEAD

 

 

 

 

by Pachydermy Philly…

“Billingham Bokstock was born with an elephant’s head. A real, live elephant’s head. Not only was he the first ever trunk-swinging, tusk-bearing, floppy-eared candidate to run for president of the United States, he was twelve feet tall. The first time he walked into a press conference, his head went crashing into the doorway and right through the ceiling. For real. The whole place nearly came down. It would prove to be a problem throughout his candidacy.”

Read the whole circus story…

 

Apolitics Now is the latest in the Flashbytes series from worst-selling author Philip Loyd. Not to be confused with the Man with Small Hands, or Rinos, or the Elephant Man even, Billingham Bokstock is nonetheless the very first actual elephant candidate.

 

 

Philip LoydPhilip Loyd loves fat chicks and cheap beer, though not necessarily in that order. Loyd has worked for TheStreet.com, Forbes, and McGraw Hill, each time running for his life as if waking up from a bad dream. Loyd lives in Dumbass, Texas. Phili

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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